You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I understand Curling. That high.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
