I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I love you. Go after that dick
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
