My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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