i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize