it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
farters have to be the big spoon...
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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