Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
