My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
