Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
