Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She's the barista slut.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
