I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
