Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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