Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
