You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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