I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
