this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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