party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize