Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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