My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
my liver is dry heaving
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
