I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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