I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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