My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
