i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
