i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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