i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
