so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
