Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize