i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
