how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
