areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
