Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
