Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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