Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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