I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
