i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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