How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
