Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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