yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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