Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
His nipple licking is glorious
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