I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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