Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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