Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
