I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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