i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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