did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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