let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
