i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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