Why does Corona taste like a burp?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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