Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
