There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
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