My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
