I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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