I heard we made out
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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