Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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