think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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