i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
