i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
