you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
