Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
