Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
