He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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