so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
