i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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