my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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