go do what you do best...puke behind churches
kristin has been a bad kristin
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
