I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
