you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
This is my gift to your gina
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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