a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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