My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize