You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
