there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I don't deserve a penis
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize