i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
