I hate all girls vehemently.
You work out of a Hotel?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize