My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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